Archive

December 2023
Entry 96
Love and respect for our favorite people should not be a decision of the mind: empathy, trust and appreciation flow primarily from the heart.

November 2023
Entry 95
Reveals that through our consistent commitment to multiple relationships – and the possibility of more love – it is not so unlikely that we will notice less of it in our lives at first…

October 2023
Entry 94
No evasions: to qualify as committed, it’s what actually happened that counts. Especially for our loved ones.

September 2023
Entry 93
The person who is struggling the most will be the first to take care of the problem… Who actually does the bulk of the relationship work – and are we able to ask for help?

August 2023
Entry 92
In which I appeal to keep expanding the range of our relationship tools for the sake of togetherness and our loved ones.

July 2023
Entry 91
In which I try to explore what we need to feel truly complete – and whether multiple relationships are more of a distraction or a reward.

June 2023
Entry 90
Describes the way in which it is very quickly possible in multiple relationships to soon feel like in a pre-night drama series due to the lack of proper communication.

May 2023
Entry 89
In which I attempt to disprove the assumptions that multiple relationships automatically enable us to choose from a plethora of potential lovers, to fall deliberately in love, and therefore to be desirable per se.

April 2023
Entry 88 #Exclusivity
In which I explore the extent to which our attachment to exclusivity is a legacy of our high performing and anxious meritocracy – but also explain why non-monogamy still requires a modicum of exclusivity in our relationships anyway.

March 2023
Entry 87
In which I call for caution in wanting another relationship so badly that we literally “step out of our way” for it, and in the process begin to prioritize our personal freedom over accountability.

February 2023
Entry 86
Explains why it is important to pay attention to the answer to the question “Do you (still) love me?” and how essential it is to be appreciative in the process.

January 2023
Entry 85
Rededicates itself to the important questions at the beginning of the year – e.g. how and why we want to engage in multiple relationships.

December 2022
Entry 84
Addresses the special importance of the “smallest oligoamorous unit” from which all further relational life emerges.

November 2022
Entry 83#Coming out
Outlines our hesitant journey out of the mononormative broom closet and into the polyamorous world – and why we often retreat back into the closet….

October 2022
Entry 82
In which I give voice to the queer PoC Buddhist author Sah D’Simone, who talks in his book about the oligoamorous core themes of self-awarenes, queerness, spirituality, belonging, and freedom.

September 2022
Entry 81Hinges and Wings – Part 2
Addresses a puzzling “blind spot” in multiple relationships, which, however, merely conceals some well-known human flaws.

August 2022
Entry 80Hinges and Wings – Part 1
Which is about the “polycules” that are our relationship-networks – and about the fact that our positions in them are rarely easily identifiable.

July 2022
Entry 79
Tells of Polyamory, community building, sensory-processing-sensitivity, relationship anarchy, romance and idealism – and one more component necessary for Oligoamory.

June 2022
Entry 78
In which I encourage everyone to persevere in those times when seemingly “nothing works at all.”

May 2022
Entry 77
Calls for giving yourself enough time to establish a new relationship.

April 2022
Entry 76
Describes the phenomenon of our “emotional armor” with which we have surrounded ourselves in life – and what significance it still has today.

March 2022
Entry 75 #conflict
Is dedicated to our anxieties in multiple relationships that can quickly draw us into conflict.

February 2022
Entry 74
In which a wise Buddhist monk encourages wholeness and ethical behavior in all our relationships.

January 2022
Entry 73
Begins with the annual review of 2021 and ends with the realization that ease and simplicity do not always lead the way to our multiple relationships.

December 2021
Entry 72
In which I tell about the high intensity within committed relationships and warn against “replicating ” these relationships one after another.

November 2021
Entry 71
Is dedicated to Polyamory, whose living DNA consists of the strands pragmatism, idealism and love.

October 2021
Entry 70
Reveals how our “life issues” can suddenly have us embroiled in a viscous two-sided conflict over right or wrong.

September 2021
Entry 69
Which explains why what is best for me is not always best for everyone else in my relationship network.

August 2021
Entry 68
Attempts to show how we can cause potential grievances by adding new partners, which always requires care and attentiveness.

July 2021
Entry 67
In which I advocate “open relationships with love as a kind of interpersonal energy – but disclaim “open love” without focus.

June 2021
Entry 66
In which I speak again specifically about trust, commitment and loyalty, which in Oligoamory contain those values we desire usually as conventional “fidelity”.

May 2021
Entry 65 #queer
By which I contextualize Oligoamory as a queer lifestyle and write about possible discrimination.

April 2021
Entry 64Meaningful Relationships, Part 3
In which I show that when the category of a relationship that has meaning for us is no longer relevant, its inner quality becomes the all-important criterion.

March 2021
Entry 63Meaningful Relationships, Part 2
In which, in association with other bLoggers of the w.w.w., I explore what we need to establish meaningful relationships and thereby call for category-free thinking in regard of our loved ones and favourite persons.

February 2021
Entry 62Meaningful Relationships, Part 1
Wherein I call for cultivating only “meaningful relationships” in our lives – and compile what the hallmarks of such relationships are.

January 2021
Entry 61 – Includes both the annual summary of the 2020 articles and the further mapping of “The remote island of Oligoamory”, as well as a personal confession by the author on the state of his own resilience.

December 2020
Entry 60 – Tells a story about our fears that pursue us right into our relationships – and how we might redeem them.

November 2020
Entry 59 – Explains why, when we encounter jealousy in multiple relationships, it is much more often envy that is truly behind it.

October 2020
Entry 58 – Raises three questions that are beneficial for any would-be Oligoamorist to ponder about.

September 2020
Entry 57 – Which reveals Oligoamory as a holistic way of life.

August 2020
Entry 56 – Explains why in Oligoamory there is room for light and darkness, for beauty and annoyance, for perfection and imperfection – and why this is necessary.

July 2020
Entry 55 – In which I once more illustrate how the emergence of familiarity, intimacy and closeness in an oligoamorous sense can succeed.

June 2020
Entry 54 – Calls for casting aside any indifference if confronted with dishonesty in your relationship-network.

May 2020
Entry 53 – Which describes why it is important in multiple relationships to have meaning for one another and therefore to take part in each other.

April 2020
Entry 52 – In which I fathom the important synergy of #responsibility and #accountability.

March 2020
Entry 51
A happy pensive first birthday to my bLog!

Entry 50Part 4 #political
Outlines the swashbuckling history of liberty, personal freedom and entitlement that turns poly- and oligoamorous relationships into political statements.

Entry 49Part 3
Which is devoted to those special people who – for the first time in the history of Oligoamory – used the word “polyamorous” for ethical multiple relationships.

February 2020
Entry 48Part 2
Deepens the history of Poly- and Oligoamory by taking us into the fascinating world of neo-paganism…

Entry 47Part 1
Where I embark on a sequel concerning the history of Oligoamory and begin Part 1 with Rudyard Kipling and Robert E. Heinlein.

Entry 46
Is dedicated to one of the core themes of Oligoamory: the quest for self-knowledge.

Entry 45
In which I appeal for the integration of multiple ethical relationships into the humble realms of our daily routine.

January 2020
Entry 44
Underlines why it is important to love your friends.

Entry 43 #Commitment #Trust
In which I emphasize the meaning of commitment and trust in ethical multiple relationships.

Entry 42
Which reminds us to execute as well as to experience accountability and trustworthiness in our (existing) most intimate relationships.

Entry 41
Some useful correlation and linkage in the evergrowing jungle of Oligoamory by our editor.

December 2019
Entry 40
Invites us all to follow our oligoamorous destiny – back to front and head to toe.

Entry 39
Outlines, why it is important to “be someone”, especially as a non-conformist.

Entry 38

Describes how our children seize our relationship-networks in their very own way.

Entry 37 #Transparency
You wish for openness, communication, and accountability? Transparency is the way to go!

November 2019
Entry 36 #Jealousy
Reflects on possible reasons for our jealousy – and the difficult way to counter it.

Entry 35
Answers the age-old question: Fallen in love again? When will I tell it to my (existing) loved ones?

Entry 34
Which I dedicate to our valiant companions and our journey through non-monogamous terrain.

Entry 33
In which I ponder on the term “inclusiveness” – especially regarding the loved ones of our significant others.

October 2019
Entry 32
Contains a creepy story about a harrowing creature I encountered while dating.

Entry 31
Certain values concerning ethical multiple relationships are surely unchallengable. But it is important that these values serve their users nevertheless.

Entry 30
(Online)Dating is tough business. Regardless if it is monogamous, polyamorous or even oligoamorous.

Entry 29
Asks if returning to monogamy or to live solitary (again) is the easy way out.

September 2019
Entry 28
Reflects on the dimension of personal freedom regarding our search for intimacy and affection.

Entry 27
Deals with intimacy and the rocky road towards our emotional home.

Entry 26
In which I reflect on those things that restrain me from living oligoamorously.

Entry 25
Tries to answer the question where and how to find likeminded people.

August 2019
Entry 24
In which I try to fathom the tension between codependency and interdependency – and their bearing on any kind of human relationship.

Entry 23
Non-monogamy and sensory processing sensitivity? In this Entry I explain, why a highly sensitive person (HSP) like myself tinkers with Oligoamory.

Entry 22
Depressions and (multiple)relationships? These two phenomenons don’t have to contradict each other – and there are times when both rather can be means to an end.

Entry 21
I try to shed some light on our complex inner world of self-image and role ascriptions, which always motivate us in our relationships – for good or bad.

July 2019
Entry 20 #Communication
Which contains introductions into the philosophies of “Nonviolent Communication” and “Radical Honesty” and their significance concerning (multiple) relationships.

Entry 19
Describes why we have to put off our rose-coloured glasses when infatuaton becomes true love.

Entry 18
Tells a tale about the odysseys and fools’s errands which our journey into multiple relationships can be.

Entry 17
Outlines the dissimilar mindsets of pragmatists and idealists and why they are prone to clash.

June 2019
Entry 16 #Communication
I share with you my inner process why I omitted the opportunity for conversation – which is always risky business in any kind of relationship.

Entry 15 #Trust
In which I take a closer look on mutual trust and self-confidence at the beginning of a relationship.

Entry 14
Contains scientifc answers concerning nearness and other indicators for “good” relationships.

Entry 13
Wherein I am visited by a powerful oligoamorous entity bearing grave implications.

May 2019
Entry 12
In which I try to answer the question “How many are a few?” by oligoamorous measure.

Entry 11
Tells a story about quite mundane superheroes who fight each day against incredible odds for their loved ones as well as for themselves.

Entry 10
Outlines the effect of varying pace concerning metamours in a multiple relationship.

Entry 9
Wherein the implications of the “emotional contract” in any relationship are described.

April 2019
Entry 8
In which I trie to describe how to navigate between the rapids of “Togetherness” and “Aloneness”.

Entry 7
Contains considerations about our committment versus our freedom of choice.

Entry 6
Where you will find a tale about the loves of our loved ones.

Entry 5
In which the significance of our associates of choice is proclaimed.

March 2019
Entry 4
In which a conversation reveals further details of oligoamorous relationship ministration.

Entry 3
Which prospects important values and characteristics concerning Oligoamory itself.

Entry 2
In which a letter explains why the archipelago of Polyamory was abandoned.

Entry 1
Describes, how the journey started and in which manner the island of Oligoamory was discovered.