Describes the way in which it is very quickly possible in multiple relationships to soon feel like in a pre-night drama series due to the lack of proper communication.
In which I attempt to disprove the assumptions that multiple relationships automatically enable us to choose from a plethora of potential lovers, to fall deliberately in love, and therefore to be desirable per se.
Entry 88 #Exclusivity
In which I explore the extent to which our attachment to exclusivity is a legacy of our high performing and anxious meritocracy – but also explain why non-monogamy still requires a modicum of exclusivity in our relationships anyway.
In which I call for caution in wanting another relationship so badly that we literally “step out of our way” for it, and in the process begin to prioritize our personal freedom over accountability.
Explains why it is important to pay attention to the answer to the question “Do you (still) love me?” and how essential it is to be appreciative in the process.
Rededicates itself to the important questions at the beginning of the year – e.g. how and why we want to engage in multiple relationships.
Addresses the special importance of the “smallest oligoamorous unit” from which all further relational life emerges.
Entry 83 – #Coming out
Outlines our hesitant journey out of the mononormative broom closet and into the polyamorous world – and why we often retreat back into the closet….
In which I give voice to the queer PoC Buddhist author Sah D’Simone, who talks in his book about the oligoamorous core themes of self-awarenes, queerness, spirituality, belonging, and freedom.
Entry 81 – Hinges and Wings – Part 2
Addresses a puzzling “blind spot” in multiple relationships, which, however, merely conceals some well-known human flaws.
Entry 80 – Hinges and Wings – Part 1
Which is about the “polycules” that are our relationship-networks – and about the fact that our positions in them are rarely easily identifiable.
Tells of Polyamory, community building, sensory-processing-sensitivity, relationship anarchy, romance and idealism – and one more component necessary for Oligoamory.
In which I encourage everyone to persevere in those times when seemingly “nothing works at all.”
Calls for giving yourself enough time to establish a new relationship.
Describes the phenomenon of our “emotional armor” with which we have surrounded ourselves in life – and what significance it still has today.
Entry 75 #conflict
Is dedicated to our anxieties in multiple relationships that can quickly draw us into conflict.
In which a wise Buddhist monk encourages wholeness and ethical behavior in all our relationships.
Begins with the annual review of 2021 and ends with the realization that ease and simplicity do not always lead the way to our multiple relationships.
In which I tell about the high intensity within committed relationships and warn against “replicating ” these relationships one after another.
Is dedicated to Polyamory, whose living DNA consists of the strands pragmatism, idealism and love.
Reveals how our “life issues” can suddenly have us embroiled in a viscous two-sided conflict over right or wrong.
Which explains why what is best for me is not always best for everyone else in my relationship network.
Attempts to show how we can cause potential grievances by adding new partners, which always requires care and attentiveness.
In which I advocate “open relationships with love as a kind of interpersonal energy – but disclaim “open love” without focus.
In which I speak again specifically about trust, commitment and loyalty, which in Oligoamory contain those values we desire usually as conventional “fidelity”.
Entry 65 #queer
By which I contextualize Oligoamory as a queer lifestyle and write about possible discrimination.
Entry 64 – Meaningful Relationships, Part 3
In which I show that when the category of a relationship that has meaning for us is no longer relevant, its inner quality becomes the all-important criterion.
Entry 63 – Meaningful Relationships, Part 2
In which, in association with other bLoggers of the w.w.w., I explore what we need to establish meaningful relationships and thereby call for category-free thinking in regard of our loved ones and favourite persons.
Entry 62 – Meaningful Relationships, Part 1
Wherein I call for cultivating only “meaningful relationships” in our lives – and compile what the hallmarks of such relationships are.
Entry 61 – Includes both the annual summary of the 2020 articles and the further mapping of “The remote island of Oligoamory”, as well as a personal confession by the author on the state of his own resilience.
Entry 60 – Tells a story about our fears that pursue us right into our relationships – and how we might redeem them.
Entry 59 – Explains why, when we encounter jealousy in multiple relationships, it is much more often envy that is truly behind it.
Entry 58 – Raises three questions that are beneficial for any would-be Oligoamorist to ponder about.
Entry 57 – Which reveals Oligoamory as a holistic way of life.
Entry 56 – Explains why in Oligoamory there is room for light and darkness, for beauty and annoyance, for perfection and imperfection – and why this is necessary.
Entry 55 – In which I once more illustrate how the emergence of familiarity, intimacy and closeness in an oligoamorous sense can succeed.
Entry 54 – Calls for casting aside any indifference if confronted with dishonesty in your relationship-network.
Entry 53 – Which describes why it is important in multiple relationships to have meaning for one another and therefore to take part in each other.
Entry 52 – In which I fathom the important synergy of #responsibility and #accountability.
A happy pensive first birthday to my bLog!
Entry 50 – Part 4 #political
Outlines the swashbuckling history of liberty, personal freedom and entitlement that turns poly- and oligoamorous relationships into political statements.
Entry 49 – Part 3
Which is devoted to those special people who – for the first time in the history of Oligoamory – used the word “polyamorous” for ethical multiple relationships.
Entry 48 – Part 2
Deepens the history of Poly- and Oligoamory by taking us into the fascinating world of neo-paganism…
Entry 47 – Part 1
Where I embark on a sequel concerning the history of Oligoamory and begin Part 1 with Rudyard Kipling and Robert E. Heinlein.
Is dedicated to one of the core themes of Oligoamory: the quest for self-knowledge.
In which I appeal for the integration of multiple ethical relationships into the humble realms of our daily routine.
Underlines why it is important to love your friends.
Entry 43 #Commitment #Trust
In which I emphasize the meaning of commitment and trust in ethical multiple relationships.
Which reminds us to execute as well as to experience accountability and trustworthiness in our (existing) most intimate relationships.
Some useful correlation and linkage in the evergrowing jungle of Oligoamory by our editor.
Invites us all to follow our oligoamorous destiny – back to front and head to toe.
Outlines, why it is important to “be someone”, especially as a non-conformist.
Describes how our children seize our relationship-networks in their very own way.
Entry 37 #Transparency
You wish for openness, communication, and accountability? Transparency is the way to go!
Entry 36 #Jealousy
Reflects on possible reasons for our jealousy – and the difficult way to counter it.
Answers the age-old question: Fallen in love again? When will I tell it to my (existing) loved ones?
Which I dedicate to our valiant companions and our journey through non-monogamous terrain.
In which I ponder on the term “inclusiveness” – especially regarding the loved ones of our significant others.
Contains a creepy story about a harrowing creature I encountered while dating.
Certain values concerning ethical multiple relationships are surely unchallengable. But it is important that these values serve their users nevertheless.
(Online)Dating is tough business. Regardless if it is monogamous, polyamorous or even oligoamorous.
Asks if returning to monogamy or to live solitary (again) is the easy way out.
Reflects on the dimension of personal freedom regarding our search for intimacy and affection.
Deals with intimacy and the rocky road towards our emotional home.
In which I reflect on those things that restrain me from living oligoamorously.
Tries to answer the question where and how to find likeminded people.
In which I try to fathom the tension between codependency and interdependency – and their bearing on any kind of human relationship.
Non-monogamy and sensory processing sensitivity? In this Entry I explain, why a highly sensitive person (HSP) like myself tinkers with Oligoamory.
Depressions and (multiple)relationships? These two phenomenons don’t have to contradict each other – and there are times when both rather can be means to an end.
I try to shed some light on our complex inner world of self-image and role ascriptions, which always motivate us in our relationships – for good or bad.
Entry 20 #Communication
Which contains introductions into the philosophies of “Nonviolent Communication” and “Radical Honesty” and their significance concerning (multiple) relationships.
Describes why we have to put off our rose-coloured glasses when infatuaton becomes true love.
Tells a tale about the odysseys and fools’s errands which our journey into multiple relationships can be.
Outlines the dissimilar mindsets of pragmatists and idealists and why they are prone to clash.
Entry 16 #Communication
I share with you my inner process why I omitted the opportunity for conversation – which is always risky business in any kind of relationship.
Entry 15 #Trust
In which I take a closer look on mutual trust and self-confidence at the beginning of a relationship.
Contains scientifc answers concerning nearness and other indicators for “good” relationships.
Wherein I am visited by a powerful oligoamorous entity bearing grave implications.
In which I try to answer the question “How many are a few?” by oligoamorous measure.
Tells a story about quite mundane superheroes who fight each day against incredible odds for their loved ones as well as for themselves.
Outlines the effect of varying pace concerning metamours in a multiple relationship.
Wherein the implications of the “emotional contract” in any relationship are described.
In which I trie to describe how to navigate between the rapids of “Togetherness” and “Aloneness”.
Contains considerations about our committment versus our freedom of choice.
Where you will find a tale about the loves of our loved ones.
In which the significance of our associates of choice is proclaimed.
In which a conversation reveals further details of oligoamorous relationship ministration.
Which prospects important values and characteristics concerning Oligoamory itself.
In which a letter explains why the archipelago of Polyamory was abandoned.
Describes, how the journey started and in which manner the island of Oligoamory was discovered.